When a married couple finds themselves needing help in their marriage, the generally accepted “solution” is to seek out a marriage counselor / therapist. Well, at $75 – $200 per hour and a weekly session for both the husband and the wife and appointments scheduled well into the future, this option can quickly become prohibitively expensive.
Moreover, there’s usually the issue of participation and cooperation. There’s almost always one spouse who really wants to get help…and one who doesn’t.
Further, there’s usually a problem related to privacy. There’s usually at least one spouse who is not interested in opening up and exposing the details of his or her personal life to the “world”.
Besides the issues of cost, participation / cooperation, and privacy, there are two even more important reason why a person should seriously consider do-it-yourself marriage counseling.
First and foremost is that classically trained marriage counselors are trained to explore and analyze the problems a married couple is having…with the idea that by exploring and analyzing the problems, the “solutions” will somehow surface.
In reality, all that happens is that the spouse who is already upset and “negative” about the marriage simply gets to RE-EXPERIENCE all the “bad stuff” that’s going through his or her head and all the negative feelings they feel towards their spouse and marriage gets AMPLIFIED even more.
And so, the marriage ends up in worse shape than it was before the couple went to “marriage counseling”.
The second big flaw in traditional counseling is that it generally creates greater division instead of bringing the troubled couple closer together. Usually, a married couple is already “divided”…that’s why they are seeking marriage counseling. And then, they get to the marriage counselor or marriage therapist office and they get “divided” even more by getting assigned to SEPARATE counseling sessions…and it becomes an adversarial / divided situation where the counselor / therapist is essentially encouraging each spouse to BASH the other one…and that’s NOT how you bring two people together.
Of course, the idea is that the counselor / therapist will somehow be able to “mediate” and “negotiate” the two people back together…but that’s sort of like trying to “mediate” a fight while egging the fight on.
It’s no wonder that traditional marriage counseling has such a low success rate.
But, with Do-It-Yourself Marriage Counseling, a person gets to bypass all of these problems and drawbacks to traditional marriage counseling.
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro.
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By: Calle Zorro
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www.HusbandWifeHelp.com Learn the secrets of happily married people. Find out what they do, think, see, feel, everything. It’s a “model” you and your spouse can easily “install” in your own marriage to get the happy marriage you want. Do It Yourself Marriage Counseling Marriage Counseling: Do-It-Yourself
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